Thursday, July 16, 2009

Here's your chance to practice without a license...

The skinniest thing on my body is the toe next to my big toe. Well, my eyelashes are skinnier, but next to those, it's the toes. So when my toe started hurting...more like nagging... on Monday and got worse on Tuesday, I noticed it was swollen. And red. And while it hurt, it wasn't unbearable enough to keep me home. But by last night, it was really hurting and I have decided/self-diagnosed it is gout.

I just spent the morning at the doctor's office and he sent me for blood work and an x-ray. He says it could be gout, but it could also be a bug bite. You would think I would remember getting bit by a bug but I don't. But he threw that one out there.

I've noticed when you tell a doctor what you think it is, they have to act like "maybe, but maybe not..." You know they hate Web, M.D. and the internet in general because now all patients are self-diagnosing. But guess what? When they step out of the room and say, "I'll be right back."....they are running to their office and looking up your symptoms on the internet.

Here's the dilemma.....he prescribed a medicine for me to take for gout...and some pain pills. And then sent me for blood work and x-rays to verify it's gout. But the results won't be back for 3 days...or Monday. So, what if it's a bug bite and I have an infection? Do I get the gout medicine filled and start taking it, while a rapid infection is running through me? And if it's not gout, could it be good for me to take gout medicine? Do you think I thought of all these questions while I had the doctor in front of me? HELL, no.

Because no one likes to read a blog without pictures, I took photos of my normal toe and my swollen toe. Do not pay attention to the home pedicure. And yes, that might be hair on my toe. Maybe, maybe not. But look at my right toe and tell me what you think? What you can't see is that it hurts like the dickens. Today I am limping. And as I type this post, my toe is throbbing.

Exit now if you don't want to look at my toe.
But if you, like me, like to play doctor....I would love your diagnosis.

Both feet for your viewing....

the toe in question is the toe next to the big toe on my right foot.

I know what you're thinking....I should have been a foot model.

You weren't thinking that?

Normal, pain free toe.

Swollen, red, tender to the touch, throbbing toe.

Doctor, doctor.....Give me the news!


  1. I'm so sorry I have no diagnosis or advice to give you, other than to say this has been the most entertaining post ever!!! What a hoot!! (please accept my sympathies for your throbbing toe).

  2. Okay, Dr. Peggy is thinking it is not gout and the only thing I would take is NSAIDS like some Naproxen or Advil and see if that helps. The xray is throwing me off because Mayo says they would take a syringe and look at some of the fluid to see if it has gout crystals. This is a quandry for sure. In any event, drink heavily and lay on the couch reading blogs (or magazines)... :)

  3. Only Julia would post a picture of her toes. NO ONE alive will ever get that close to my toes! I agree with Peggy...I think something bit you. I could share my swollen story from last week but I won't. It is better and I am not dead. I agree with Peg again, let's just drink!! Still chuckling....

  4. Oh I thought y'all were concerned for MY toe issue...but's Julia! I think it's a bug bit, too. I agree with Debe and Peggy...drink and read magazines(blogs)!!!

  5. I like the advice to..."drink heavily." Hope its nothing and it goes away quickly!
    PS - One time I thought I had Hodgkin's Disease because I had a lump behind my ear. It was just the way I was wearing my sunglasses on top of my head - they were rubbing against my skin. I thought my days were numbered. That my dear friend, is the magic of self-diagnosis.

  6. Oh My, everyone here is a hoot! At first I was concerned since I just went through a long month of waiting to see what was wrong with my friends swollen and painful knees. 6 docs tons of test and lots of ideas. Finally figured it was reactive athritus. (I'm to lazy to check that spelling.)
    My office manager suggest drinking water for EVERYTHING, I see she is not alone. The hair on the toe was a bit disturbing lol. Hope it gets better soon!

  7. My diagnosis? If you were bitten by something, it was a spider. Take the gout and pain meds. When it feels better, I may have to treat you to a "spa" pedicure!

  8. You are a brave and funny lady. Did the doctor seem at all concerned that the toe next to your big toe was so much longer than your big toe? I gotta say that seemed much more upsetting to me. More upsetting even than the hairy toe. I too have been on my deathbed due to self diagnosis and am trying to wean myself off of it. If it were me I wouldn't want to spend the money for pills I didn't know if I would need unless there was a better than good chance that I would die if I didn't start taking them right away.

  9. just amputate it and it will be done with. :)

  10. This just ruined my lunch break..whatever "gout" is, it just sounds disgusting, and the details were less than enjoyable..My diagnosis is that you are the only one with the tree-climbing monkey toes in our family and nature is trying to fix you, and the shrinking length is causing the pain.