Was it a French or Spanish object?

Sometime in March, I had a very sore throat and since strep throat was rampant in kindergarten, I got out the flashlight to see if I could self-diagnose. I saw a huge white spot on my left tonsil and knew for sure I had strep. I couldn't get in to my regular doctor so I went to my trusty back-up.... Well's Walk In Clinic.

The lovely physician's assistant took one look at the spot and said it wasn't strep....but she did a strep test anyway. It came back negative. She advised me to have the spot looked at sometime.

Well, I looked at it everyday.

But I think she meant to have a doctor look at it. So now that school's out, I made an appointment with the ENT doctor that treated Will's nose bleed problem last month.

Today was that appointment. In the last week, I have made the mistake of looking up tonsil bumps on the internet. By Thursday, I was dying of oral cancer and was wondering how in the heck I was going to eat........without a throat.

Today, the sweet doctor came in, took one look in my mouth and said, "Oh, that's nothing. Not to worry....it's just a blah, blah, blah........."

After she said it was nothing, I didn't really hear the rest of her medical mumbo jumbo. She gave me the technical name but I heard blah, blah, blah........because I WAS GOING TO LIVE! and it didn't really matter what this gross bump was called.

Basically, she said your tonsils are like a honeycomb and if an object gets in one of the little crevices, it will get encapsulated. uh,huh........go on.......this is fascinating stuff.........

Then she says we're going to spray your throat with numbing stuff.

Wait? She's going in? Oh, no, here comes the tongue depressor. You know, craft sticks? Only now it's being used for its real purpose.......as a tongue depressor.

I say....."Wait! What if I gag?"

She says, "Go ahead and gag."

I say...."Shouldn't you cover yourself up?"

(Because I am sure I am going to throw up on her...)

She says, "I'll be okay. You just concentrate on your breathing."

Well, I am here to tell you that there is no breathing involved when someone has a tongue depressor down your throat and an instrument digging at your tonsil. Every cell in my body was concentrating on not gagging and throwing up on her.

This is what went on the next several minutes......

Gag, gag, grab doctor's arm, say sorry.........she waits a minute........goes back in to the back of my throat.......gag, gag, gag, grab doctor's arm, say sorry........she says "You're doing great!" (what the hell?) she goes back in......gag, gag, gag.........she stops.....sends the nurse/cheerleader to get another instrument.......I say, "Can't you use a needle to just pop it and get it over with?"....because she is using a tool that looks like a scoop......and the scooping is taking way too long.....she laughs........I am not kidding about this.....because I read on the internet that some doctors may use a needle........she goes back in........gag, gag, gag, gag, gag,gag........I say sorry over and over.......because as I sit up and grab at her....she just kindly stares at me, like "may I go on with my job now?" ....I say, "you sure are nice not to handcuff me to the chair...." (why do I say stuff like that?) ....gag, wipe tears, gag....doctor says, "You're doing great!" (did she mean I'm a great gagger?)

FiNaLlY........she gets it! And shows it to me. Wait she goes back in......gag, gag, gag........she shows me more.....she tells the nurse there's still more.....goes back in.......nurse tells me I am doing great!........I am gagging and wiping what's left of my make-up off between gags. I tell them this is right up there with the root canal.

This is not me or the kind doctor but this is almost exactly how it happened. Only imagine the little girl is playing the part of me.... gagging and grabbing the kind doctor's arm every 2 seconds. And the kind doctor is telling the little girl, "You're doing great!"

Okay, if you're still here....I just thought you would want to know how it went and that I'm okay. It was a foreign object....and we will never know where it came from. I didn't ask if it was French or Spanish......all she said was foreign.


I think it was a piece of that $1000.00 crown that broke off when I had the second root canal on Molar #2 last year. The tooth from hell. Because I think I visited hell again today......and I am sure it was courtesy of that tooth.