The college kids are home. One is 2 months shy of turning 23. One is 20. The oldest is 25 and married and not home for the holidays. My children are adults. And I'm still in the learning curve of parenting adults. The key is keeping my mouth shut (like that could happen). And fighting the urge to groom them. Forgive me if I have a little trouble with this.
I parented kids for 25 years...it's a habit I'm trying to break. I honestly don't even know I'm doing it....like when I say, "Wow, your face is broken out." Or "you need a haircut." And they growl at me...and say, "Why do you always do that?" Do what? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking I should fix it....take you to the dermatologist, get your medicine...take you to get a haircut, because only yesteryear that was my job. Along with the meals and the laundry and the shopping and the doctor and dentist and orthodontist appts.
I asked one if they would go to church with us on Sunday (today). His quick and grouchy remark, "No....and quit asking me." Wow. So I went on to say that I wouldn't ask if I thought he wouldn't enjoy it...there is an awesome series going on right now and the guest minister is so funny. His reply......"Stop....I don't like church. And I don't need to go to church to be religious." And he left the room.
I asked the other adult child...."will you go to church with us?" She said, "Sure, what time?"
Like whiplash. Jerked one way, then the other.
And then there's the oldest one, who is so strong in her faith and is the one who led me back to church and teaches me things about grace and His mercy.
But talking with Chuck last night about the first response......he and I both completely agreed that we were the exact same way at 20. I can clearly remember always feeling a direct connection in my center to God. But church? Uh, nope. It wasn't even on my radar. Sunday was the day to sleep in. Years went by without my stepping foot in a church except to attend someone's wedding. And then I shopped around for years trying to find one that felt like a good fit.
This is what I know for sure. My children are God's. I am just their earthly parent. He knows the number of hairs on their head and will watch over them and reach out to them in their own time. And then, and only then, will they feel the overwhelming urge to worship Him with others.
It's just that I have found a place to worship.....after years of searching for a church that feeds me. And I never leave there without feeling recharged. And I want to share this joy with my children. And you. And others. I'm human and full of sin and I need this and I know you need this and please, please can we do this together and if I had only found this earlier and ... Okay. I'll stop. I was 20. I know. I really do. It's just that I love you so much.
But I'll stop.
Just promise me you'll at least turn to him in prayer. Just keep your eyes and ears open to him. At least do that for me.
Sniff, sniff!! Thanks alot for making me cry with another AWE inspiring blog. I hear ya mama. I want my adult babies in church with me too. You are wise when you say you were 20 once. You are wise when you say you just don't stop parenting. But mostly, you are wise when you say, they are God's. Why is it so hard to turn our children over to God, when they were never really ours in the first place? Always remember, His word will not come back void. Now that's something that we never have to let go of! Once again, so glad you are my friend.
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Ditto what the other Linda said! Mine are 28 and 31...I think I've stopped saying those things to them... You'll have to ask them. But it was hard to learn. And when they are both married...it's extra important to accept they are adults and have spouses! God help us! (and He does!)
ReplyDeleteMy daughters grew up in church - could we have spent too many hours there? I don't know - one married a young man who has become a pastor and she is the perfect pastors wife. The other married a young man also brought up in a church but they seem to find other things of importance on Sunday mornings. We struggle to not ask if they went to church and trust that He will lead them back - but would sure like Him to hurry:) It is sooo hard to parent adults - now I understand my parents so much better. Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteYep, I was 20 once too. The important thing is that you took them to church. They may not go back to church until they have children, but I bet you they will then. You provided the foundation that cannot be torn down. Y'all are awesome parents and always will be their parents and always will make little mistakes along the way, so will they, so y'all will always need each other.
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