Saturday, April 16, 2011

Sugar and Navigation Systems = Nothing Good

This past week, the students showed their appreciation for the staff by bringing us sweet treats.  One particular little girl brought me the big bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.  After eating more than I am going to reveal on here, I started throwing the rest on to teachers' desk.

As in "HELP ME!" 

Like an addict throwing his drugs down the toilet.

Except we all know addicts don't throw their drugs away.  Others have to do it for them....when they're not around.

I am a sugar addict and I admit it.  But I haven't really overdone it in long while.  Until yesterday. 

By yesterday, there was a stash of candy on all of the teacher's desk and everywhere I turned I saw candy.  I had candy all day long.  We were all shoving it towards each other. 

So around 5:00 p.m. I was in a bit of a bad mood. We were heading out to see my nephew in a play at a university about an hour and 15 minutes away.  Except it was 5:00.  TRAFFIC HOUR.  Getting on a freeway at this time of day means "parking lot."  So what should have taken 1 hour and 15 minutes might have taken 2 or 3 hours. 

I suggested a back route that I have taken no less than 10 times because I had a client out this way a few years ago.  Back roads all the way.  I could drive this route with my eyes closed. The back roads would put us getting on the freeway way up north......away from all the 5:00 traffic.

I tell Chuck the way to get there.  He agrees this is a good idea.

I finish getting ready.  He waits for me.  In the car.

We get in the car and he turns on his girlfriend.......the Navigation System.  He is love with her.  He listens to her.  He stares at her.  He blocks me out when she's around.  He creeps me out when she's around.  I hate her. 

Now these backroads that I know will put us out around Willis, Texas.  For some reason, while waiting in the car for me he has put Montgomery, Texas, as the destination in to his little toy.  So let's mix that situation in with a bad mood caused by eating candy all day.

I'm internally growling already.  But keeping my mouth shut. (believe me)

We get to a red light (still on my path) and the girlfriend (Navigation System) tells him to turn right. 

I say this isn't the road we turn on. 

He says but she says it is.  She must KNOW something. 

This goes back and forth while the light is red........finally I yell, "FINE.   THEN TAKE IT!  BUT IT'S NOT THE RIGHT ROAD!!!!"

The next 20 minutes take us around curves back and forth until we end up heading South when we should be heading North.

I was not a happy camper during these 20 minutes.  I may have growled out loud. 

I keep looking at Chuck......he is looking at the girlfriend. Not the road.  I am yelling.  He is looking at the girlfriend.

He finally decides to try to find the right road that I was talking about 20 minutes before when we were at that red light........which takes us through some construction and now we are heading West.  We should be heading EAST.


I will save you the rest of the story except to tell you that he took all the blame for getting us lost and I take a little blame for coming down from the sugar. 

At some point in the battle, my sister texted me to see if we were almost there.  Pretty sure she wasn't prepared for my answer peppered with a few choice words about Chuck and his girlfriend.
Ladies and Gents, this is not the first time we've had this argument.  There have been at least 4 or 5 times I can think of that his girlfriend has gotten us lost and I knew the way the whole time.  But the sugar low really cranked the volume up this time.

The good news:  We are still married.  He will never listen to his girlfriend over me again.  He swears.


  1. How do I tell you this..... well.... my husband is seeing that same girlfriend. He loves her! Even if he isn't listening to her, he likes to LOOK at her everywhere he goes!! Even places he's been to hundreds of times. It's a sickness.

  2. OK, you just confirmed that these things are EVIL! First, I don't like being told what to do. Second, especially by a stupid sounding female. (I might be able to like the aussie guy) A map works just fine. And what is up with Chuck waiting in the car while you get ready? My husband does this too, it makes me really mad. If you have stuff to carry out are they there to help? Glad you guys survived. No more sugar for you!

  3. We love our Garmin; we call her Carmen. This is not a poem. She is British which makes her very amusing when she pronounces the street names. There have been many times that we have pissed Carmen off, but she HAS been wrong...turn the wrong way on a one-way street, etc. I love messing with her when I take a side trip for gas or snacks; she recalculates herself almost to death. Funny how the guys used to not like to ask for directions but now they will listen to their girlfriends. Can we program these things to tell them other things?