Saturday, December 10, 2011

A Little Profanity

Chuck comes home from the grocery store and is all shaken up. 

Chuck:  You're not going to believe what happened to me!

Me:  What?

Chuck:  Some lady went crazy on me.

Me:  What?

Chuck:  Well, I always back into the parking space at Kroger...

Me:  What?  You BACK IN to the parking lot?  Why?

Chuck:  Because it's easier to get out.  So anyway.... I had pulled past this space and then backed in to it and she comes out of nowhere and starts yelling at me and calling me a M.....F.....!  She said "I know you saw my blinker!"  I just shrug my shoulders at her like sorry. 

I'm still way back on him backing in to the space.  Who is he? 

Me:  Chuck, are you sure you didn't see her?  Cause I've driven with you and maybe you did take her space.

Chuck:  No, I didn't take her space.  Then later, I'm near the dairy section and she's there and she says, "Oh, so you can drive a grocery cart but you can't drive a car."  So I ask her if she has rage issues.  Then she starts yelling at me again........YOU M......F.....!!!

Me:  Oh, my gosh! What'd you do then?

Chuck:  I just walked away.  But then, when I'm checking out, she is right there and gives me this creepy smile.

Me: What'd she look like?  How old was she?

Chuck:  She looked about 30....pretty.  I think she had PMS.

Me:  Well, she probably did, but Chuck you must have done something to her to set her off.

Chuck:  You should be on my side.

Me:  Well...she sounds like a nut but I'm just thinking something must have set her off.

Chuck:  Wait........get this....then I go to my car and she pulls up in front of me...blocking me with her car and she just stares at me......then she takes her cell phone and takes a picture of me...I guess....then shakes her finger at me.

Me: Wow.  Creepy.

Chuck:  I've never been called that before.

Me:  I think I've called you that before.  And it seems your driving was involved at the time. 

(And maybe I had PMS.)

Poor sweet Chuck.  So so sweet.  But behind the wheel?  Maybe just a wee bit of a M.....F.....  You know he's that guy that doesn't need to use his blinker.  And the guy who changes lanes...quite often.  But get him out from behind that wheel and he's a different guy. 

He backs in to the space at the grocery store?  Because it's easier to get out? 


  1. I think backing into spaces is okay...that lady sounds like a freak. It's one thing to be annoyed when you think someone took your spot, but to actually call them names and be stalky about it? WEIRDO! She's crazy!!

  2. I was there and I think I remember that lady. If it's the same one, she gave me a stern "I'm next" look at the deli counter.

  3. Totally made me lol!!! If Tyler would have seen Chuck backing in he would have called him a "red neck"....that's what daddy always says when he sees men backing in....and why is it that it's men who back in? I have NEVER seen a women back in!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!

  4. Oh my. I literally snorted while I was reading that. Poor Chuck. But oh my gosh, that is funny stuff. As long as it's not happening to me!

  5. That is the risk you take shopping any where this time of year. It was probably me. LOL. I hate it when my husband parks. He ALWAYS backs in. People are always on his bumper coz they don't expect him to back up. Must be a man thing. Back in or back out. What ever.