Overheard Stuff

While sitting at a table and helping 2 five year olds with a project, this is what was said........

Him: Oh, God! (after dropping his glue bottle)

Her: You can't say God.....he'll get mad. Right, Mrs. Hackney?

Me: Well, I don't know if He gets mad, but I think He might be disappointed.

Him: Okay. I won't say God. 'Cause God made Santa Claus.

Me: He did?

Him: Yeah, He made everything. And He's the one that tells Santa what to bring.



Do not think that God isn't discussed in public schools.



And more overheard stuff.....

Boy 1: Hey, don't copy my writing!

Boy 2: But it's better than mine.


True dat.

I Was On Fire....

We went to P.F. Chang's on Saturday evening to celebrate Cameron's upcoming 22nd birthday. She is the wide-eyed chick on the right. She was trying to look goofy ......again. This is what she does to family poses. This is who she is. We are a one family traveling circus. And she is a very important member of that circus.

Please take note of my favorite shirt. I paid way more than I should have for this linen top in a beautiful charcoal gray.....but I love it. It's comfortable and cute and I wear it a lot. This information will be important later. So keep in mind, that this is my favorite shirt. And I paid a lot of money for it.

Baby Will loves spending quality time with his family....as you can tell.





Again.....quality time. He is so into our dinner conversation....he is typing what we say. Right?






The birthday girl was preparing to blow out her candle and we all screamed for her to wait so we could get out the cameras. And then I made her wait some more so I could head to the other end of the table to get a better picture of her.

The candle was getting pretty low by the time we were ready for her to blow it out. She kept
saying, "I'm going to burn up!"




And I remember thinking I am getting really hot. Like an intense feeling of heat in my body....





And then the heat gets more intense..........and I look down.............and my shirt........my very favorite shirt.......that I paid a lot for..........is ON FIRE!




Real flames! I have been leaning over the candle on the table. Really.




I fan it out and look around to see if any of the other customers have witnessed this circus act.



I keep repeating to my family, "Did you see that? I was ON FIRE?"




As I head back to my seat, I see the couple beside us laughing at me.




I ask, "Did you see that?"

They say, "Yes."

I ask, "When were you going to tell me?"

They laugh.

Not really funny.

My family's reaction? "Pew wee.....I can smell it!" "Oooo, I like the way it smells!"

Not..."Are you okay?"

The source of the fire.



So I can honestly say, "I was on fire Saturday night."

sushi

The names in the following post have been changed to protect the innocent. Not that any of them are innocent....

All voices spoken below were at an increased volume.



Less than one hour after all 3 birds flew back into the nest.....



Father to middle child: Where do you want to go eat tonight for your birthday?

Middle child: Sushi!

Father: Okay.

Oldest child: No! I get anxiety attacks when I go to a sushi place.

Middle child retreats upstairs to her room. (stomp, stomp, stomp ....slam)

Oldest child to Father: Sorry but I can't do sushi.

Mother to oldest child: But it's her birthday....she gets to pick. What if it were your birthday?

Oldest child: I'll talk to her.

Mother to Father: (silence but looking at each other thinking cuss words)

Later........

Oldest child: I talked to her (middle child) and she understands we can't do sushi.

Later.....

Father to Mother: Middle child wants to go to P.F. Chang's now.

Later.....

Middle child: Daddy says we have to go to P.F. Chang's.

Mother: We don't HAVE to go there....

Middle child: No, I want to...I've never been there.



Mother thinking to herself: (cuss words)

What I'm Not

I am not a lot of things. But today I want to tell you that I am NOT a dog groomer. However, that doesn't stop me from pretending to be one. Remember "pretending?" I watch a lot of that every afternoon in kindergarten and I love the way the kids set up their situation.

"Pretend I'm the mom and you're the teenager....no, no....you're the cat. And then our daddy comes home and we are cooking and ...." And usually the mom is on the phone saying, "uh, huh....uh, huh....uh, huh..." while cooking something on the play stove and the cat is crawling around licking on the carpet. And always there is a crying baby....the 5 year old laying in the play baby bed covered up in the doll blanket.

I pretend to be a dog groomer.



Two of our three dogs are poodle mixes and need to be groomed about once a month. But because we have so many other priorities in line before "Dog Grooming"....the luxury of taking them to a professional has turned into one of my chores. And it's not getting done once a month on schedule, I assure you.



After I butcher.....groom the dogs, they are almost bald....in places.....so it takes a good month to grow out evenly. Then there's that one week period where they look so dang cute. And then on a random week night I catch sight of what looks like a small version of Big Foot walking around on all fours and I know it's time to groom the dogs again. Another clue is when their head becomes very small looking because their body sticks out so far with bushy hair. This is the point where I become embarrassed for them.


Of course, I have to wait until the weekend. Because it's a weekend job. Because there's a lot of hair and water involved. And the amount of energy it takes is way more than I have on a weekday after work.



So yesterday was Maggie's turn and today was Dixie's. I cannot do 2 in one day because it's a workout. If you've ever seen the calf scramble at the rodeo, it's a little like that. One hand is wrestling the dog to the ground, while the other hand has open scissors in it. And somebody's going to get cut or stabbed. Both dogs are shaking the entire time and trying their best to escape. About the time I comb out a section and get ready to cut, they jerk and I jerk and I yell and they whine and we're back to square one.

And you know, they have 4 legs, a whole body and then there's the face and the underside. It never ends.


About 5 minutes into the grooming session, I holler for Chuck and he comes in to help. But I quickly send him away because now his huge hands are in the way and we've added them to the list of body parts most likely to get stabbed.



Although this is not funny, this makes me think of a friend of mine who was trimming her dog's mustache...and clipped the dog's tongue. I certainly understand how that happens. My dogs get extremely nervous when I am in their bikini area. One move and they would be....well, you know...more than neutered.



Anyway. Check that major chore off the list for the next several weeks. No injuries to report.

Before: "Oh, dear Lord....she's got the scissors out."

After: "I feel like a puppy again. Now if I can just stop thinking

about how close she came to my woo-woo with the scissors."

You really do get what you pay for. The dogs look like their owner grooms them. For free.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Mine got me chocolate and a sweet card.

And assisted me in my grooming salon.

Pushing through...

I'm still here....just pushing through the gray gloomy days of January. Literally and figuratively. I have a few loyal readers (my teacher friends) who ask me when I'm going to update my blog when more than a few days go by. My usual response is "there's nothing to say."


That doesn't mean I haven't had some highlights in my days but by the time I get home those "highlights" seem too minor to blog about. (haha...as if all my posts are sooo blog-worthy!) I even told one teacher today that I sympathize with the kids who have to write in their journal everyday. Not as easy as it sounds.



Today, while helping one class during their writing time, I asked a little girl about her drawing.

Me: Who is this here?

(pointing to a stick figure)

Her: My daddy.

Me: What's he doing?

Her: Going to work.

Me: Where does he work?

Her: At his work.

Me: What does he do there?

Her: Works on work stuff.

Well, there you go. I have been going to work. At my work. And working on my work stuff. That's where I've been.



Later today, I was putting an art project up on the wall in another classroom and I just had to grab the camera. It made me laugh and I think you will too. This art project is a "listening" project. Each child starts the project with the same colored squares and rectangles of paper and they are told one step at a time how to cut the paper and where to glue it on the big piece of paper. The end project is very telling.....as in who listens carefully to the directions. And who goes to town with the scissors.

Ladies and gentlemen.....I give you our President.

Click on the picture to get a good look at the detail.

Good times are all around us. We just have to recognize them.