Monday, September 5, 2011

Wearing White After Labor Day?

This was the headline that caught my eye when I opened up the internet this morning.  It made me think of all the fashion rules of my youth.  I  realized that those rules are so deeply embedded in my brain that I can remember them but not much else about my childhood. 

Undercover Fashion Police

NO white between Labor Day and Easter Sunday, girls must wear "co-ordinated pants suits" if they wear pants to school, dresses must be no more than 2 fingers above the knee cap, shirts must be tucked in, belts must be worn with pants and those tucked in shirts. Closed toe shoes with hosiery must be worn in the workplace.  These are the rules that take up space in my brain.


One of the few times all 3 of mine had decent shoes at the same time.
  We probably went to church that month.

For years, we didn't attend church regularly because I had 3 growing kids and any one of them at all times didn't have a decent (Sunday School decent) pair of shoes that fit.  That fashion rule was enough to make me think we couldn't go.  Ridiculous....but embedded in my brain. 

 SUNDAY SCHOOL CLOTHES was a category in itself in my mind. 

Elephant pants almost killed me...I tripped on the huge cuffs more times than I can remember!

Leggings with big shirts, hot pants with tiny shirts, hip huggers with 2 inch zippers, elephant pants, huge eyeglasses that covered half of the face, pointy toed shoes, squared off shoes, clogs, high top tennis shoes, flip-flops, spiked heels, layered clothing, Dorothy Hamill haircuts, Meg Ryan perms........we've all been victims.

Mom jeans.  Bug eyes.  Bowl haircut.  I was hot.

I remember LOVING these glasses because they were so cool. 
 I was so those glasses...ha.
What was the eye industry thinking?
That the pores on my cheeks needed corrective lenses?

Here's what I think long as your underwear isn't hanging out, wear it.
Wear it big, wear it little, wear it white, wear it in color, flip-flop in it, spike your heels in it, wear it up to your chest, wear it down as low as you possible can.

Just don't let your underwear hang out. 

Chuck grillin' in some white short shorts with his lavendar shirt tucked in.
Hello rocked.
Show those legs, Chuck!

So yes...wear white after Labor Day.  And wear your shorts short.  And tuck that shirt in!  If the cops can't keep the druggies off the street corners,
 you certainly won't be arrested for breaking any fashion rules.

And go to church.  Jesus wore a gown with sandals.  


  1. Can't do it. No matter how hard I try. Maddie laughs. She is clearly ignorant about such things. She quotes Stacy London and Clinton Kelly and says it's okay. As if those upstarts would know. Emma wanted to wear a corduroy skirt to school last week. I wouldn't let her until after Labor Day. We will never escape the rules in this house.

  2. After my daughter saw a photo of me in my short, shorts I realized I could not comment on the length of hers! Love your fashion police and your glasses. Oh My!

  3. I can't wear white after Labor Day either.... not that I ever wear it anyway. I had those glasses... but I was 40 when I was wearing them. You are so funny. (a declarative sentence)

  4. I was just thinking about this rule the other day and realized I don't even own a pair of white shoes. I have every other color. There is a picture of my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I dressed for a dance back in the 70s that our daughters will not believe is us. Maybe I should show them the ones of their dad in his shorts like Chucks....

  5. Ur Mom wears white after Labor Day.....

  6. Smokin!!!!!! Gawd, Matt and I just got Paul to untuck his t-shirts about a year ago and the bootie shorts had to go a couple years before that...I just had to give them to Good Wil while he was a work. We are still working on the golf costume and the fanny pack. I don't think we'll have anything to hang our head about when this generation gets as old as us. Sluts, gangstas, and hoes are what some of these kids have been wearing for years now. I remember that we were in 7th grade at Lamar? when we could start wearing pant suits. Before that we had to wear shorts under our dresses/skirts to be able to play on the monkey bars, etc., all through elementary. Can you believe? YOU MUST WEAR PANT SUITS. A person could get arrested for saying that now! I'm so old that I "depledged" my sorority my freshman year in college because they wouldn't let us wear jeans to class (among other things). I had just gotten 100 miles away from my mother's critical eye and rules; a little tired of rules. Isn't that what college is for, rebellion? Oh, that's why I don't have a degree...You look hotter now than ever; you are so beautiful inside and out and a hoot to boot.