Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Today's Special....3 posts in 1

Post 1.....Will's Award Ceremony....or

how we roll around here

I took off at 12:15 yesterday to attend Will's award ceremony. I got home at 12:22 (love my commute) and Cameron is still asleep. I yell at her up the stairs to "hurry, get up, you have to go with me." Award ceremonies are painful and I needed Cameron with me to endure the pain.

She gets ready in 10 minutes (college is paying off !) and we start to head out. My cell phone was dead and the charger was upstairs in Will's room (no way was I going there). But out of habit, I checked it again. There was a text message from Will from 8:22 am. Whoops. I never check my phone during the day. And the text says.....

already got award

no need to come

I'm not gonna lie..........I was doing the happy dance. So Cameron and I went shopping. About 2:00, Will calls Cameron and says, "Are you here?" Meaning at the ceremony?

Cameron says, "No, you told us we didn't have to be 'cause you already got your awards!"

I hear this and feel guilty... like I got caught skipping. He said his teacher had given him his awards that morning, but then they pulled him out of class to get to the auditorium. Oh, well.......

It's probably just as well I didn't attend the ceremony because I was sick just hearing about all the kids who received college scholarships. Not this family...we like to pay for it all ourself! Please, don't give us any money....we wouldn't know what to do with it. Really. Not that I'm not very thrilled for the kids who got them.....but what the H is wrong with us?

After the ceremony was over, Will met us for a late lunch and showed us his medals....and certificates ....all for photography. Eating lunch at LaMadelaine with 2 of my children was the best award ceremony I have ever attended.

Dear Will,

If you only knew how much thought I gave to attending my last kid's award ceremony and how hard it was to ask for a half a day off....and if you only knew how much I was dreading the ceremony, that I had to really work at getting my head and act together for it....if you only knew how mad I got that my phone was dead and the charger was in your room...the danger zone...just thinking about that disaster makes me twitch...If you only knew how bad I felt that I was out shopping when you got called to your auditorium to receive your medals when I thought I was clearly off the hook...IF YOU ONLY KNEW....THEN YOU WOULD KNOW how proud I am of you, how much I am going to miss you, how much I love you and how we roll around here always catches me off guard. You keep me on my toes. Please remember that I did come to your award ceremony when you were a was just a private one held at a restaurant.

Your biggest fan,
Your mama

Post 2......Today's Kid Report


F cannot sit in his chair. CANNOT. He can hang on it, he can wrap hisself around it, he can make it lean allllll the way back on 2 legs way further than should be possible, he can ride it like a horse, he can use it in ways it was never intended to be used. But he cannot sit in it. So he had it taken away this morning after several verbal warnings from his very nice, very cute, very patient teacher. Don't feel too bad for F. He actually prefers to stand...not stand still....but stand.

A cannot have her scissors today. A is an adorable little girl who can cut very well. But yesterday, she and her neighbor cut their shirts. The consequence was a note to their moms and some time out at recess. After recess (and time out and with a note in her backpack) A came in and cut one of the nice teacher's posters. Yep. The note and consequence had no impact on her. So today, she had no scissors because that was her consequence for cutting the poster.

Now to the report.....

I walked into the classroom as the children were beginning their work on a worksheet. First they had to color a picture, then cut out some words and put them in order under the picture. Well, A had no scissors (see preface above). She had to "tear" her words. She started crying before she even tried to tear the words out. If you weren't A, it was really quite comical.

A: I CCCAAAAANNNNNNNN"""TTTTTTT DO IT!!!! (cry, sob, crocodile tear drops rolling down her cheeks) (do NOT feel sorry for her....she is a professional drama queen....I suspect this must work at home when it's time to pay up for her crime)

F: She's a crybaby. (as he is standing....)

Teacher: Oh, let's don't start calling people names. What if they called you a name because you don't have a chair?

F: They can call me sitless.

Teacher and Me.......Turn immediately and walk away before we lose it laughing.

I can't make this stuff up. But I do consider it a perk of the job.

Post 3.....The Dance

Warning: This is not a funny post.

If you're reading this blog, then you are probably aware of how addicting it can be to read them. I started one after reading them for awhile. And now I read way more blogs than I should. I love the decorating ones and the funny ones. But it's the sad ones that I find myself going back to for more. I guess it's the "train wreck" thing. When it's not our turn, not our's hard to look away.

I am intrigued by the person writing the blog during this sad time. How do they do it? Are the words pouring out of them at this saddest time of their life coming from a deeper place? Like wailing.......but with words? It has to be so healing.....right? What if I had blogged about my thoughts and actions and observations when I was watching Paul die? Would I go back and read it now and find some comfort? Or would it be harder to read than it was to live it?

A few weeks ago, a blogger mentioned a couple of other bloggers in a post and asked her readers to keep them in our thoughts and prayers. (when I say bloggers....a group of cloggers clogging flash in my brain....) Of course, I took the bait and went right to the blogs. Both bloggers had lost a child the day before. One. an infant boy to SIDS, the other was caused by underdeveloped lungs and all the issues that come with that to a 17 month old girl who had been born prematurely. So I read these blogs for the first time at the saddest time of these people's lives.

I have since gone back and read their archives and "gotten to know these women." Oh, my. Guys.....we are all in this together....just not at the same time. This world is one huge, small place and none of us are getting out of here without pain. These 2 women are experiencing what none of us can even imagine unless it's happened to you. Losing a child. None of us even want to say it out what if it's contagious. Knock on wood. Take it back. I didn't say it out loud, it doesn't count. Not the right order. Things should be in order. I began my daily routine the same as usual....hit the snooze button a time or two, have a cup of coffee while reading some blogs and get into the shower dangerously late. This morning while reading one of the sad blogs (I call it sad, but it wasn't always that way) was a post from the father. was hard to read. As I got up to head to the bathroom, I thought about the words to the Garth Brooks' song The Dance.

I could have missed the pain, but I'd of had to miss the dance.

I turned on the radio in the bathroom and one song was ending then the dj's talked. The next song was Garth Brooks' song The Dance.

Holding you, I held everything. For awhile, wasn't I a king?

What? What are the odds of that? That one song coming on when I had just thought about it seconds before.....for like the first time in forever? It's an old song......and this station plays mostly the current stuff. I took this to heart and thought maybe I should comment on this blog and at least tell the father that he should read the lyrics to the song if not listen to it. Because I believe when the Holy Spirit can sometimes feel like an incredibly weird coincidence. Or in this case....HELLO! You just thought of this song seconds before hearing it on the radio after reading a blog by a father who was wailing about missing his daughter. You were meant to hear it today......

But if I'd only known how the king would fall,

Hey....who's to know....I might have chanced it all.

And now I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end

The way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance

We could have missed the pain

But we'd of had to miss the dance.

I am not for one second thinking the pain would ever be bearable. But none of us have been promised a life with no pain. In fact, I am sure it's the price we pay to be here. But goodness gracious.....once here, please don't sit this one out.

Happy is sure to notice when it's happening. And know that it always returns.

In case you are wondering, the two blogs I am referring to in this post are.... is the one about a precious toddler girl named Maddie and it was her father who posted today. This one is about a family with 2 girls and a sweet baby boy who died from SIDS a few weeks ago.

If you can stand a good cry........go there. It might just make you hug your kid a little tighter tonight. Or your dog....or husband.

Thanks for hanging in here for Today's Special.....3 posts in 1. I have a group of regular readers (2) who have asked me why I haven't posted lately.....and all I can say is, uh, uh.......

Writing is a creative energy and just like art, it's not always flowing through me. Sometimes the thoughts that ARE flowing through me, wouldn't be very nice to write down and send out to the world. But most times, the daily stuff just doesn't need to be repeated.

Just assume I got up, got dressed, went to work, laughed, came home, stood at the pantry and begged the dogs for an idea about supper, read some blogs, worked on my couch potato routine....then went to bed with a good book. Repeat.

I pity those bloggers who are contracted by ads to post daily. I couldn't do it. I would have to start making things up.


  1. Julia-
    Way to make me cry my eyes out... No really though, reading blogs like that, while very sad and emotionally draining, are useful in appreciating life. They make me realize that my small, petty issues are really just that. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Julia,
    I have been looking daily for an up date and wow you gave us one! I just posted a quicky last night because I haven't had quiet time to reflect. I hear ya about the awards and my office manager and I about peed our pants laughing about the scholarships. We both just went through the same thing. We LOVE paying for ALL of our kids education. You are so talented and I love your family even though I don't know you. Thanks also for a dose of reality today. We really do need to learn how to live for today and be grateful for all God gives us. We only have this moment so make it count! I'm willing to wait until you are inspired coz when you get to post it is so worth it. Have a great day!

  3. Julia, when I read this post, these words really hit home for me.

    Happy is sure to notice when it's happening. And know that it always returns.

    Love your writing, friend.