Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Ten Days

A couple of weekends ago, I flew out to Phoenix to help Jordan and Chris finalize the menu for the reception dinner and check some items off of the ever growing "to do" wedding list. It seems for everything we check off, we add 2 or 3 things. Buy a gift. Check. Wrap the gift. Add that to the new list. Oh, and add "buy tissue paper" to the Hobby Lobby list. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Other than spending 3 days with Jordan and Chris, my favorite part of the weekend was wandering through the resort where the wedding will take place. I left a very cold, brown Houston and loved every second of walking around the lush green grounds of this place. Flowers are blooming and the weather was a perfect 72'.

These are the chairs that I plan on sitting in around midnight, March 19. Chuck will be sitting next to me. And we will be checking off One Wedding on our Life List. And while I know a parent never stops worrying....I know Jordan and Chris will take care of each other and we will be leaving her in good hands.

There are just luscious corners like this everywhere you look. The place is like a maze and I could have walked around for hours. But I only had an hour to myself while Jordan got her hair done....a trial run for the wedding updo.....so I wandered around and took a few pictures to commit this place to my memory. I know the next time I am here, I won't be as calm as I was that day. And I know I won't be looking at the scenery like I was this day.

No words necessary.

Jordan is sitting on the hearth of an outdoor fireplace. Even though it was 72' outside, it was chilly in the shade. This area was outside the salon and spa.....and I sat and watched people walking by in their spa robes and shoes.....wondering where they were from, why they were in Phoenix and if they knew how lucky they were to be getting a massage or facial.

A painted mural on one of the walls....depicting the history of this place. This resort was built around what was once a Spanish style mansion.

In ten days, my first child will leave her single life behind her. I have enjoyed watching Jordan venture out on her own.....to pursue a job in another city in another state. She has made a life for herself in Phoenix and yet still holds on tight to her Texas roots. When I was in her apartment for the next to the last time, I asked her if she was sad to be leaving this place....her place. And she admitted she was.... just a little.

I told her I remember how sad I was to be moving out of the last place I lived in as a single girl. I had lived there for 3 years and it was my favorite place and it represented my independence. It wasn't that I didn't want to get married. But being married was the unknown......and leaving behind the "known" is sometimes just sad.

And there were many times, in the chaotic days of raising small children, that I would stand at my kitchen sink and remember the quiet solitude of that single girl's apartment. I am so glad I had those days. Many women don't get that time to their selves until the end of their lives....when they are widowed....and I am glad Jordan got hers now.

But it's a chapter closing......an ending.

Goodbye. To being single. To living alone. To only doing laundry for one. To only buying the bare minimum groceries so you can spend way more on clothes. To never having to share the remote control. To paying your own bills. To never having to have a discussion about finances. To sleeping on whichever side of the bed you want to ........right down the middle. To always having the commode lid down. Goodbye.

Hello. To sharing your life. You know...through richer or poorer. Sickness and in health. Etc. Always and forever. Through arguments and laughter. Through Mexican food and Chinese. Through you're cold, he's hot. Through CNN and HGTV. Through you cook, I clean. Through the lid up and the lid down. Hello.

Last May, Jordan moved into a different apartment complex....one that turned condo a few years ago.....and she found this place herself. She negotiated the deal, set up the utilities and moved in....all on her own. She was allowed to paint the walls........and that's a huge deal for the women of this family. At the time she was hunting for a place, there were 2 units available in her price range. She picked the one with the view of Camelback Mountain.

There's the mountain. And to a girl from the Texas Southeast Coast.....that's a VIEW. So what if you have to look past the light poles and tennis courts?

Here is the kitchen where seldom a meal was cooked.
And the refrigerator with little to no food.
But it's cute.
And there's wine.

Say goodbye to pink pillows and flowery paintings. Sad? Sad.

Yep. Jordan moved here in May and guess who she met in June? Isn't life funny like that? I'm not sure the paint was even fully cured on the walls when she knew she had met the guy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
All you single girls out there? Get on with your life. Move to a great new place. Get a dog. Get busy. Get happy being single. Then....then you will meet him.

Dorothy had to learn the hard way that you don't have to go to Oz to find your heart's desire. It's right in your own backyard.
Jordan is a Wizard of Oz freak/enthusiast/fan....and I bought her this doll at Silver Bella.
Ten days.
And I know this post is long.......but I have to add one last thing.
I've been dreaming about this wedding a lot.
I guess my subconscious is in overload filing away all this stuff.
So last night I dreamed that I was fully dressed for the wedding but I had a gynecologist appointment at 2:30. Surely I would be through in time to be at the wedding by 5:00. So I dream about undressing, laying my wedding clothes on the back of the chair and sitting in my paper gown and waiting and waiting for the doctor. And waiting and waiting.
The doctor...a she...finally comes in, compliments my clothes on the chair.....then introduces me to several men behind her. They are observing her this day and she talks to them before each move she makes. You know the move.....lay down....now scoot down...scoot down some more.
I am telling the men behind the doctor that I am so sorry they have to see "this."
She asks me why I'm here today....because she is a gynecologist and I have had a hysterectomy. And I tell her I am there because I have an appointment. And then I ask her to just go ahead and look at everything down there. You know....everything...front and BACK. (ugh)
And the dream just goes on and on. With the doctor making lots of odd remarks to the men behind her .........while all of them are looking you know where. And my feet are in the sock covered stirrups this whole time.
By the time the doctor and her team of observers finish checking me out down there and I get dressed (in my wedding outfit), it's DARK OUTSIDE! I have missed the wedding!
The alarm goes off about the time I am speeding to the resort in the dark.
Anyone out there translate dreams?


  1. Dream translation: You're in an awkward phase in life and the first child to live in your uterus is going away. And you have no control over anything. So let go.

    And I'd like to point out that you just gave me permission to get a dog.

  2. Oh My! I think Cameron is right. Try to relax and enjoy! I had no idea that the Mom would have prewedding dreams like we did before our own weddings. Great, something for me to look forward to someday.

  3. I agree...has something to do with the fruit of your womb being pulled out and admired by many while you sit naked. Drink some wine and for gawd's sake put on something.

  4. Breathe deeply and enjoy these last few days. One of our daughters got married a distance from home and I thought I would be a wreck making sure everything was perfect - it was and I wasn't:) The other daughter got married in our home church and I was a total wreck as I worried about what our house looked like when all the family and friends dropped in. So be happy the wedding is in AZ.

  5. Oh good gravy. That was some dream. Let me know what you find out in counseling. I recently dreamed that my 63 year old mother was pregnant. Maybe I'll join for some head shrinking.

    Enjoy the next 10 days. It's so exciting and you clearly believe she's made a good choice. Relax as much as you can. Maybe she'll share some of that wine.

  6. I won't comment on the dream, because dreams are weird and never make any sense, but I WILL comment on the post. You brought a tear to my eye on this one. My mind (and heart) were flooded with thoughts of yesteryear, a simpler time. I remembered how, like Jordan, I had just gotten a place of my own, and how I loved every minute of it. The "boy" was already in the picture. I remember how excited I was to be getting married but realizing,,, I had lived on my own for only 6 short months. After getting married, I remember feeling jealous of my brother and sister (who had started hanging out together after I married) and their carefree lifestyle. I remembered how simple it was being single with no one to answer to but myself, but I had made my choice. Do I regret it?? Not at all! I know how fickle our emotions are and how our heart will play tricks on us. If I could offer Jordan one piece of "old lady" advice, it would be this, no matter what happens in your life, "this to shall pass."

    "Why did I ever marry him?" This to shall pass.

    "He makes me so angry when he does that." This to shall pass.

    "If I never saw him again, I would be the happiest woman in the world!" This to shall pass.

    "He is the most wonderful man in the world!" This to shall pass.

    "I love him so much, I'm just not going to let that bother me." This to shall pass.

    I think you get my drift. Don't let your emotions get the best of you, don't ever start thinking "what if?" Instead, put Christ first, live for the day, enjoy your husband and the wonderful life you will share together, knowing that TRUE love, comes from YEARS of really getting to know each other.

    Sounds like you got a good one Jordan, hold on for the ride, you won't regret it!!

    Julia, forget about the dream, go and enjoy your daughter's wedding, and take lots of pictures!!! I can't wait to read that post!!! I think I am going to call you the Barbara Walters of blogging. You can always make me cry!


  7. Julia! I love you, you always make me smile! Jordans wedding is going to be beautiful!!! I can't wait to see pictures.
    You don't ever have to let go , Jordan (and Cameron!) will need you their whole lives!!!
    Who will take care of their dogs?

    God Bless yall all and have a BLAST!!!

  8. Me too, I think Cameron has nailed it!!!! Cam, you're deep. As for the rest of the post, I'm ready for my next box of kleenex. How sweet and wonderful and the part about where you and Chuck would be sitting together after the wedding plum made me break down. I hope y'all know what great parents y'all have been. I know each of your own roles, trust me, but being together and having an intact, whole, healthy family is the greatest gift you could ever give your children and you have done very well by them. I'm so proud of you both and I love you so, Stephanie

  9. Thinking so much about you all today!!!!