Gout?

I am trying to say/type that word 100 times in 7 days. I think I'm getting close. Many of you have asked if I have found out anything yet. hahahaha. Are you joking? I hurried to the doctor, waited over an hour for my 15 minutes with Dr. Concerned (NOT). He sent me to a lab 2 miles down the road for blood work and to another location another 5 miles down the road for an x-ray. Then to the pharmacist with 2 prescriptions to be filled.....dropped off and picked up later of course. All in all, my whole day was pretty much consumed last Thursday with getting a diagnosis/treatment. By the time I got home, I was in alot of pain and exhausted from the heat. Waaaawaaaawaaa.





(To all the soldiers in Iraq....if by some fat chance you would stumble on here and read this....I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I would gladly relive every day like Thursday for you to be able to come home and live a peaceful life in the US in air conditioning....but allow me to finish the waaaawaaa...it will only take a few more minutes.)



By Friday, my stomach was torn up from the meds so I got on the internet and looked up home remedies....natural cures and such. I was not only in pain with my toe, but now nauseated and having sharp, doubling over pains in my intestines. Dr. Concerned (NOT) had warned me about this but I thought how bad could it be? It was bad. I was desperate. I found one website that promised a 2 hour cure. I only had to pay $19.95 for this 48 page booklet about Gout. All About Gout. Bought it, printed it out. Are you ready for the 2 hour cure?



It said to mix 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda in 8 oz. of water, stir to dissolve, then drink it up. Do this upon onset of symptoms. Then before bedtime and when waking then every 4 hours if needed.....but not to exceed 4 teaspoons in a day. Are you ready for this?



I drank one glass in the late afternoon and another before bedtime. I am not kidding you....during the night I realized the pain was gone. I could bend my toe and it only hurt a little when I walked. The swelling and redness was still there, but the pain had almost all gone away.

Believe it not.



Now, I feel like I have to tell you this part. I got on the internet again on Saturday....and one website warned about taking baking soda...especially if you have high blood pressure. It is very high in sodium. Warning!!! Well, I only took in 1 teaspoon in all and it worked. And I'm still here. So I only know it worked for me.



Or it could have been the 8 servings of cherry cobbler. Or the 2 doses of that horrible medicine that tore my insides up.



I am much better. And still waiting for the test results. I waited patiently until Monday. But when they didn't call me, I called them today. Of course, I got a recording for the person they transferred me to...and I am waiting for her to call me back. But I can guaran-damn-tee you she will tell me I have to come in for the results.



Thanks for asking about me...I'll let you know.





PS....I just gotta tell you this...when I was at the lab last Thursday, they needed a urine specimen. With no instructions where to leave the full cup, I just set it on the counter on a paper towel (lid was on and my name was on the label in case you're wondering). I returned to the waiting room and went up to ask the very, very, very busy receptionist....no one was in line, I am standing at the window, but she couldn't look up so I am guessing she was very, very, very busy...where to put the jar. Finally, she looks up, I ask if I should just leave the specimen in the restroom. She says yes. I ask this because there are only 2 lab workers....the receptionist and one I passed by taking some one's blood. And neither of them was guiding me through this process.



Next, they call a young guy to the back and hand him the same type of cup. They tell him to wash his hands first. He says first? They say yes. I am guessing because his germy hands have to touch the thing where the urine comes out??? Anyway he heads into the restroom where my cup is still sitting on the counter. I had overheard him tell another guy that he was there for a drug screening because he was interviewing for a job at a car place.....going to work on cars. If I had had 10 more minutes I would have been able to tell you his life story but like I said, he got called back.


Now, because I watch way too much tv, I think.......what if he switches our urine because he is here for a drug test and he takes mine and I get his and the doctor thinks I'm on drugs? This all whips through my brain in 2 seconds....so I basically yell out to the receptionist.....Wait! Is my cup still in there?



She looks at me with a bothered look and says no. Okay. Good.



I have to ask you....am I the only one who thinks like this?

Third time's not a charm...it's just as ugly.

On my "to do" list ....uh, 2 weeks ago...was to get my passport photo taken. I have already filled out the application, so once I get the photos I can go get in the line at the post office. With my $125.00. One hundred and twenty five dollars. I wonder how much passports cost 30 years ago...probably should have gotten one then. Anyway...

I go to CVS on Sunday to get my photo taken. The clerk takes me over to the freezer section and pulls down a white screen (think overhead projection screen). She motions to a point on the floor where I should stand. I get there and look up and she is already taking the photo. Wait! No, 1.....2....3? And she just keeps clicking.

Wait! Let me get my face on. My photo face...where I try to suck up my double chin and then try to decide if I should have an open mouthed smile or a closed sweet smile. And she is standing 18 inches away from me, so when I look into the camera, I feel like my eyes are crossed. I even ask her...."Do my eyes look crossed?" She shakes her head no.

Okay...wait. Let me pull my hair out from behind my ears and fluff it up a bit. She waits...with absolutely no expression. I fluff up my hair. She clicks again. I am trying to remember how to throw my head out and over like the stars do on the red carpet but it's all happening so fast. Done. She's done and hasn't uttered one word the entire time. This is apparently not as big a deal to her as it is to me.

So I walk around CVS for a few minutes until my pictures are ready. I pay, take the envelope and go to the car. I open the envelope and look at the most hideous photo I have ever seen. I'm ugly? I'm UGLY? And whoa! My nose.......when did it spread all over my face? And the expensive haircut I just got? I look like a wet rat....flattened hair on top and fluffed up fly-away hairs all over the place.

I know it's a passport photo. I know that. But I can't quit thinking about how bad that photo is. I am fast forwarding in my mind to the security point in the London Heathrow Airport when the uniformed guy has to look at me and my passport photo and just can't believe this is the same chick. I KNOW. Me either. He and I have something in common....we head to the airport bar where we share a good laugh.

So I did what I had to do. I went back to CVS yesterday. Different clerk. Same non-personality. (Must be a job requisite.)

Me: Uh, yeah. I was in here yesterday and had my passport picture taken. It didn't turn out so I need to take another one.

Her: stares at me...says nothing


Me: So can I take another one?


Her:


Me: I mean....I will pay for it, I just want to do it again.


Her: Okay.


She leads me over to the pull-down screen.......not a word out of her. Ahhh, she was "trained" by Clerk 1.

Me: So should I have my hair behind my ears or out in front?


Her:


Me: Okay. I'll keep it behind my ears. I thought there might be a rule.


Her:


Me: Should I open my mouth to smile or not?


Her:


Me: Wait....can I see it? (on the digital camera screen...after she takes 2 or 3 shots)


Her:


Me: I'm sorry....am I making a big deal of this? It's just, I'm 51 and I've never had a passport and I really don't want this to be the worst picture ever. And I have this double chin but I don't want it to show and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

I CANNOT SHUT UP. I AM SOUNDING MORE STUPID BY THE SECOND.

Close family and friends have witnessed this many times.

Her: Okay. That's it. (starts walking away towards the photo department....saying nothing.)

Me: Can I see them on the screen?

Her: Yeah, you can see them on the machine before I print them.


Me: oooooohhhh. (as I look at them) Would you mind if we did them again?

And would you mind bringing your personality with you? If you would talk, I might shut up. Because I have this uncontrollable urge to fill this deafening silence. I mean you're taking my picture. How much more intimate could it get?


Her:


Just starts walking back to the screen.


Me: I'm so sorry.


I am concentrating at this point....on trying to just shut up. CON CEN TRAT ING.


Finally, the 3rd time around the pictures are somewhat better. If you're keeping count...this would be the 3rd set of pictures.

Then I meet up with my sister. I show her the pictures. She looks at them. Then at me. Then at them. And doesn't really say anything. SEE? It's not just me. They're bad.

Today? I'm going to Walgreens.

Angela's Ashes

Frank McCourt passed away today at the age of 78 from melanoma. He is the author of Angela's Ashes....a biography of his Irish Catholic poverty stricken childhood until his immigration to America as a young adult. It's a great book in that it's well written and makes you think and think and think. They made a movie a few years ago based on the book. If you haven't seen the movie or read the book....read the book.

This book should be a must-read for every American teenager. Or any of you who haven't read it yet. You will see your blessings in a whole new light and your troubles will seem minor.

I read this book in December '99. We had just moved to our new house in the spring of '99 and not knowing many people, I spent alot of time reading. A week or two later, Chuck and I were attending a New Year's Eve party at a neighbor's home and I overheard a couple of women discussing it. I was so excited to hear someone discussing it that I butted right into their conversation. The women were in a book club and that was the book they had just read....but were discussing at the next meeting. I got invited and am still in the book club 10 years later. (Shout out to my book club women....I love you.)

I read always....meaning I always have a book on my nightstand. But not all books are worthy of discussion. However, it has been a wonderful thing to be a part of a book club so that I can discuss a book if I'm not ready to let go of it yet. You know that feeling? You've spent time with the characters and the places and their dilemma and then the book is over. But you still need to talk about it before you put it away in your brain.

And speaking of putting it away in my brain... I call it flushing. I read a book. Then flush it. Not literally....but figuratively in my brain. Usually by the time book club rolls around, I have all but forgotten main characters and situations. It was either a good read or a so-so read and then I'm on to the next one.

But Angela's Ashes? It was a good one. While I've long forgotten the names in the book or the details of the situations, I remember the feeling I was left with. I was so sad for this little boy. But so empowered by his ability to reach down in that squalor and poverty, grab his boot straps (intelligence, humor, strong will) and get the heck out of there so as not to repeat his father's mistakes. And his goal? Was to get to America. To the land of opportunity. Something I supsect we natives take for granted.

I'm not saying it is a "feel good" book.....I am saying it is a book that will leave you with feeling.

Frank McCourt....may you rest in peace and know you left a piece of you here for eternity.