Monday, May 31, 2010

Summer '10 Project

Happy Memorial Day.

Thank you soldiers.

While sitting on the back porch, I told Chuck I needed to come up with a summer project. He took it and ran with it. Well, after I mentioned it several weeks in a row...then finally called it a summer project. You see, Chuck likes the word project. Say chore and he leaves the room. Say project and he gets all pensive and excited. And it will be my project when he gets it to a certain point. But I'm not going to tell you yet what it is. I'll give a few hints......then I hope you come back to see the finished project.

Definition of Summer Project: a certain job/repair/replacement that needs to be done around the house, but must be done in the one will not be taking many showers or getting dressed up for days in a row. Summer Projects also prevent meals from being cooked or laundry from being done. However, naps are not interfered these are necessary for the project to be done right. Summer projects should not cost much money, but if you are a Hackney they will always run over the original estimate because of the 20 trips to Home Depot....and the price of gas.


This project is necessary to repair a place where

one of our sweet dogs tore up something.

So it is a repair that is turning into something new and improved.

This project involves something very, very to us, but old.

This project takes place in our kitchen........therefore

Sonic and Wendy's will be involved.

This project should be finished in about 10 days.

Not that it will take 10 days, but I can't do my part

until school's out on June 3. (Let me here a shout out for June 3!)

And this is way more than a hint....but I am going to take you through an antique store to show you what was purchased for this project.

When it's all said and done, I'll show you the before and after.

And you will wonder why we didn't just get rid of the sweet dog.

Enjoy perusing the store......think in degrees and percentage of humidity and the smell of mildew. Ready?

For those of you in the Houston area....

this place is in the Heights....

if you're in the market for a carriage.

And that's not Chuck...just a random shopper.

I took this for Jordan....because she had an Alf doll....
and would have been 2 when this
Mad magazine was published.

Anyone in the market for one of these?
Will took this. It makes me laugh.

You do know this is a fountain?

I hear him saying, "I being good Mama."

while he is secretly peeing.

Yes, I hear voices. sit on

but would make a great planter.

I'm a little too superstitious to joke about J....

but I do think he's asking if he's in your heart.

The month before I was born....

I guess this makes me an antique.

Love...but didn't dare even look at the price.

Bless her heart. You know she stayed in a loveless marriage
because she had all those kids.




And horses.

I love how that one sprig of fern

is growing out of one of the pots in this box of old pots.

Nature at its best.


I love the sign that looks
like the mother is pulling the kid to school.

Like, "Hurry....I've only got 2 more days of freedom.
Get your a** to school."


More J.

Why didn't I save all my baby doll body parts?

Cause you know they all came off eventually.

My, what big eyes you have!

There it is......door frame and all.

One side.

And the other.

Door from 1920.

Can you just imagine the people

who have turned that knob?

Check back ....for the reveal.

Monday, May 24, 2010

A New Way to Use a Trifle Dish....

A few minutes ago, I was sitting calmly at the computer.....checking emails and reading headlines. I got up to do a few chores and decided to do a little dusting in here...the study. We keep a large basket near the desk to throw receipts into. I picked up the basket and decided I would switch it out with a smaller basket.
Because that's how I dust.

I put my hand in the basket and pulled out all the receipts accumulated since January...quite a few already. I looked down at the floor to make sure no receipts had fallen behind the basket and that's when I saw it.

Me: WILLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

Will: WHAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaTTTTTTTTTt?


(he comes flying down the stairs......sock he basically slides down the last few steps...bomp,bomp,bomp.....comes sliding in around the corner)

Will: (calmly says) Looks poisonous. I'll get it later.

Me: Forget it! I'll deal with it now. Later it might be gone
and then I'll think it's crawled to my bed.

Side note here: My first reaction is to yell for somebody...if I know someone else is here. But honestly, I will be the one handling any and all things gross. Chuck gags and my kids try to save every living creature.

So I head to the kitchen and grab my Trifle Dish and turned it upside down.
Will came back in on his way out the door and got it covered.

The snake.

The cat.

This is THE snake.

This is THE cat.

This is THE snake that's under the glass.

This is THE cat that brought in THE snake

that's under the glass of a Trifle Dish.

And I cannot even begin to describe how hard it is to type this post with my legs up around my shoulders. I keep looking over at the snake to see if it's slithered out from under the glass yet.
Gotta go....I'm creeped out. I KNOW it's just a baby....but there's a mama near here somewhere.

Anybody out there know what kind of snake this is?

Post Script: In case it wasn't clear....the cute cat brought the snake in. The cute cat brings in all sorts of insects, mice and snakes. This has been the largest one so far....and okay, it wasn't an adult snake, but it was the largest one so in they're getting bigger. And any snake is a HUGE snake. I called Cameron (the cat's mama), she looked the type of snake up and decided it was a Checkered Garter Snake....non-venomous. She came over and saved it....what I'd tell you. She picked it up with her hands (not sure she's really related to me) and took it back out to the yard. Moral to this story: Walk with your eyes on the ground.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Pardon me...

Today....after reading a book about a frog,
the kindergarteners were to write about
their favorite part.
One of the papers began like this...
Myfartwuz ______
Get it? Favorite part?
That's what can happen if your brain
is thinking way faster than you can write.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Mosquito Bites and Beeno

We're still working hard in kindergarten to get all the Mother's Day things ready to take home tomorrow. I was helping in one class while they were working on a portrait of their mother. This was to be their "very best" work.

As I'm walking around, I stop in front of him....

Me: Wait! Why are you drawing squiggly
lines all over your mother's face?

Him: Those aren't squiggly lines......
those are mosquito bites.

See if you can spy the mom that was all bitten up.

She's the pretty one in the middle row, second from the right.

Must have been a swarm of mosquitos.


And still interviewing the kids with the Mother Questionnaire.

Me: My mother's favorite food is .................?

Her: BiNu. (she writes this in the blank)

Me: Binu? What is that?

Her: (pronounces it) B E E N O.

Me: Beeno? What is Beeno?

Her: Beeno. You know BEENO?

Me: No, I don't know what that is.

Him: (sitting across the table) VINO! Alcohol! Tequila!

You know they put it in their water bottle?

Her: Yea......Vino!

(Grinning and nodding yes in agreement)

And that is why I work for peanuts.

I get paid to laugh.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

One Week

It will be one week tomorrow. My mother-in-law found my father-in-law out in the flower bed. Passed out face down in the lillies. Apparently a heart attack. She and a friend attempted to move him but both were too small and weak to do so. They called 911 and he was taken to the hospital but did not make it.

This was 2 days before his 81rst birthday. The funeral plans were put into motion quickly so that it could take place on that 81rst birthday. All 3 children and their spouses and the 8 grandchildren were there. Along with lifelong friends and co-workers and extended family.

He was a gentle soul who didn't speak much but smiled at everyone. He was a brilliant scientist who made pharmacy his career. For many in his community, he was their "doctor." He stayed married to his wife until "death they did part." He was a wonderful man and an even better father....and a kind and loving grandfather. He was an unselfish human. Most of all he was a Christian.

The most unselfish thing he did was plan his funeral service on paper. He wrote down the scriptures he wanted read and the hymns he wanted sung and had purchased the plot in the cemetary. He even included a wallet size picture of him and his wife to be put into his breast pocket before the casket was closed.

I have thought alot about my father-in-law these past few days. I am glad he was outside in his yard when he died....working in his garden and flower beds....something he enjoyed doing. I am glad he went fast and didn't suffer. I am glad he isn't laying in a hospital bed connected to tubes that keep him alive but with a damaged brain. I am glad my children had him as long as they did (24, 22, and 19 years). I am glad my husband is so much like him....even the quiet part that drives me crazy sometimes. I am glad to have heard his favorite scriptures and hymns. It gave me comfort to hear them through "his ears."

And I am glad that we were able to be there for his birthday.

Here's the deal. None of us are getting out of here alive. All of us will go one day. You. Me.

And I know that is hard to deal with, talk about, plan for. Our human brains aren't wired to deal with that. Our faith tries to prepare us....but talk out loud? Hardly.

But surely you can begin to think about what you want the day of your funeral to look like? To sound like? To feel like? I challenge you and myself to make a list. And add to it now and then. And keep it in a safe place where at least 2 family members can find it. I am not talking about a will....although that is extremely important. I am talking about your service.

Because it is the most unselfish thing you can do. And it is not a jinx.

For the record, I have brought this up a time or two with my husband......and he squirms and changes the subject and the channel on the t.v. But it's on my list of things to do. And I hope you think about it, too.

Sorry to be a downer....but really we're all in this together.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The ball, the water, the dog with OCD

On these pleasant evenings, we spend a lot of time outside on the back porch. This is what we watch over and over and over and over. Dixie's the dog with skin allergies, OCD, a love of water and tennis balls....and especially those 2 things at the same time....and a brain. This dog figured out a game to play by herself. We do not get involved other than to throw the ball in the first time and then to watch.
And did I mention the over and over part?
The game begins by one of us throwing the ball in the water.

Dixie stares at it. For as long as it takes. Until...

...the ball begins to float close to the edge.

She leans over very carefully, and grabs the ball by the fuzz.

She brings it up and bites at it....over and over....with a frenzy.
I cannot emphasize enough the FRENZY with which she does all of this.

And the ball gets dangerously close to the edge....

So she pulls it back....
And Maggie watches all of this with all the attention of a flea.

Suddenly! The ball has rolled into the water again!

Oh, no. It's way in the middle....

Dixie dives in for it.

She grabs it once again.

With ball in mouth, she swims towards the goal....

With both front paws, it's in!

One more push for good measure.

Now, she heads to retrieve the ball.

She works at the lid until it tips just enough so she can see the ball.
But she can't see it yet.
She better check on it.
She heads back over to the goal and looks one more time....yep, it's in there....
Back to the it, work it.
Finally, her head is in.
Reaching, reaching.

Knocked the lid off and going for it.

Stretch a little more.

Got it!

Uh,'s heading for the edge again.
And here comes the "over and over and over" part.
Good times in the empty nest.